I'm so excited to be writing this short note to you
on Valentine's Day weekend 2009. Since the unity of "hearts" is at the
center of our organization, Hearts Toward Home International, it is
always a special time for me.
Out of all the things I could write and talk about
I think preparation for the "reunion", and subsequent following
through, is most important to mention at this time. As I have said
before, there is nothing quite as jolting as failed expectations when
a loved one comes home from a combat zone. So remember, the reunion rarely
goes as expected, and the events you have been waiting for may not
turn out as anticipated.
Many times we can be so caught up in the
moment, and wanting "it" to be perfect, that we try to compress all
our dreams into one frame of time. When what we expected does not
materialize as planned, reality sets in and many serious issues can
suddenly arrive on the horizon. So flexibility and creativity needs to
be in your playbook—they are the key ingredients to achieve and
maintain a level of intimacy that you both desire and need.
Here are some steps to help you capture that flexibility and
creativity in your relationship:
Lower activity level – Do not make plans to accomplish all your dreams
in the first few days of the loved one's return—unplug the phone and
focus on each other.
Create the flavor of a get-away vacation—keep it simple and easy-going.
If you have children—arrange for relatives or friends to keep them for a few days.
Capitalize on your loved one's favorites—food, music, activities, entertainment, etc.
Intimate connection—pace yourself. Find pleasure in re-discovering one another and just take it slow.
My Best,
Bridget C. Cantrell, Ph.D.
Hearts Toward Home International
